Heyyyyy....

Looks like i've been abandoning my blog for ages again.  Its so dusty here.. like literally. on my computer's screen. There's even like some weird  messages pops out in my blog saying about European law something about cookies. what? what cookies? Damn im no good at blogging anymore. Welp, whatever it is i hope its not about suing me for not being an active blogger. O_O

Well would you look at that date. 22/10/2016. The last time i did blogging was on July 2015. Now how the hell did that happened? HA! Thats right. you may ask the nasty time. So what did i achieve so far? Lets see:
1. Long Hair ? - Nope. My hair can never grow long. Something is really wrong with my hair people. in fact im getting tired of wanting my hair to grow long now. and i feel like cutting my hair super short again

2. Increase in Salary? - Nope. i had to eat grass every time we reach in the middle of the month. ok, maybe thats a bit of exaggerating.

3. Tone body? - YES. im joining a female fitness body competition next year. *Grows 20 inches long on my nose* 

Basically i've achieved nothing. But one thing for sure is that. i've learned on surviving on myself. to get up everytime life knocks you down.Nobody can help you but YOU, yourself. And of course, never stop praying. all my hardships, breakdowns is bringing me closer to God. i Thank God for every thing. No matter god or bad. Always believe that, there's beauty in every hardship you face. i've learned that, no matter how much you'd let out to people, things will never be as good as letting out to God. He is always there to listen & mend your broken heart. Always have faith in Jesus <3

Im gonna love you like im gonna lose you

im currently in love with Meghan's new song (like what my title says). Aww.. isnt it sad? i mean loving people like you're gonna lose them someday. Okay, im literally repeating the same thing. lol. no explanation needed, since the meaning is quite obvious and not a metaphor either.

Anyway.. Tomorrow's Monday. Sigh. Why do we only have 2 days for weekends.. I felt like it was just Friday this morning and BOOM! im forever amazed how time can be so tricky. WEll F*ck you Time. i wish money could grow on trees & we wouldn't have to move our ass to work anymore. FFUUUUUUU.... oh nvm, look at the bright side, 5 more days til salary. Yeay. I just have to survive 5 more days. :):):)

Could it be..

Depressive disorder? ive realised no matter what i do, im always depressed, angry and jealous. Its like my happy mood is gone to somewhere else.. Oh happy, where did you go? i need you back please. im tired of crying myself to sleep, im tired of holding back, tired of pretending, and most of all, im tired of being tired..-.-  Every night im having a hard time to go to sleep. Because like most people would experience, when you're about to sleep, that's where you brain starts to work & think like a machine. Gosh, how i miss being young again. No issues. Sigh. :( I seriously need a break.

New Start

New start / New beginning / New page / New me / New life or whatever the hell you may call it, i  would just like to welcome 2015! It feels like it was just yesterday we've welcomed 2014. Fuck that, because what matters now is that 2015 is going to be a good year for all of us. Cant believe im turning 25 this year. another 5 more years and im turning 30! o.o

Thank God that im still working and still able to cope with my work. Although there are a lot of times that i feel like quitting my job which i would rather stay at home and watch tv all day long. But  thanks to the materialistic me, i am still willing to work. Because without job , there will be no income. When there's no income, no money. When there's no money, you cant buy stuff that you like. When you cant buy stuff that you like, you'll go crazy. When you go crazy, you'll tend to kill yourself. So no job = no life. Yawn.

SO! i've been hoping for long hair since long time ago and never seem to achieve them. This time. this year, i vowed that i am so going to have long hair. I will never ever cut my hair short again, you'll see. My other so called 2015 resolutions would be:

~Tone body
~Travel other places
~increase in my salary / or getting a better job

Dear God, That's all im asking for this year. I know all things are possible with You. Amen. :)